Listening To Your Body is a Radical Act of Self-Love 

Author: Tawney Seren

We are surrounded by messages that always tell us to do more, utilize every second, try harder, and hustle until it overrides comfort. It often becomes so overwhelming that stopping and listening to our bodies becomes a near-impossible task. We are taught to ignore subtle signals from our bodies and to push through despite our exhaustion, which affects our stress levels and energy. In the end, it alters the way we experience pleasure and our sense of self in ways we may have never imagined. Relearning The Language of Our Pleasure and Body

Your body is always trying to communicate with you in small ways (and sometimes major ways). Sometimes it comes in ways that are obvious to you, such as tension, relaxation, and excitement. Other times, it comes in gut feelings you can’t quite name, and many of us were not taught to listen, or how. Second-guessing or passing a feeling off as normal is easier. When doing this, we tend to go through the motions without being present in the moment. It’s important to pause and ask yourself things like: - Am I having fun and enjoying this?

- What feels neutral to me?

- What is a no? What is not enjoyable?

The answer to these questions matters in so many ways, and taking the time to listen to our bodies gets easier every time we practice. Consent and Boundaries are a Type of Self-Trust

Boundaries aren’t something we only set with other people; they also exist when we work with ourselves and explore our bodies. When we do things like not forcing ourselves to be in the mood or choosing to stop, shift, or slow down - we are utilizing self-trust. Listening to your body and stopping when things don’t feel right reinforces that your comfort and safety matter. In the end, that is what allows pleasure to deepen and our voice and preferences to take root. It also teaches your body to listen to these signals

more. When you know what it means to say no, saying yes becomes so much easier. Remember: You can change consent at any time. No means no. Any partner that does not honor your boundaries should not be your partner. It’s Time to Enjoy Pleasure Without Pleasure

It’s important to remove the expectation of an outcome when it comes to pleasure. Masturbation and exploration don’t have to lead to orgasm every time. In fact, some of the best pleasure experiences come from simply enjoying new sensations. Non-genital touch is still just as important. Exploring sensation play in the arms, shoulders, back, legs, and other erogenous zones allows you to experience pleasure in different ways, especially without an end goal. Let’s Explore Touch Sensory tools enhance exploration and take it to the next level. For example, using a warm massage candle introduces differences in touch, temperature, scent, and texture. For someone who has a busy mind and schedule, leaning into that sensation and focusing on how it makes them feel can draw them back into the ‘now’ and away from their to-do lists. Brands like Je Joue help reshape the conversation around pleasure and orgasms. They design products that prioritize comfort, safety, and anatomy rather than performance and pressure.

Beyond massage candles, non-intimidating sex toys designed for external use can help you approach pleasure and penetration in a more approachable way especially if you are a beginner. The Mimi Soft is a perfect toy for self-exploration and overall, full-body pleasure. This award-winning vibrator can be used anywhere externally, no matter your genitals or preferences. It has powerful vibrations that can be used for pleasure and massage (whether partnered or solo). Mimi Soft (like the other products at Je Joue) is made with body-safe materials and designed to prioritize comfort and pleasure. Gentle to the touch and easy to clean, I

have found these products to be a wonderful partner for playtime. Solo and Shared Exploration As mentioned above, masturbation and self-exploration while we are alone help us better find our words and preferences for when we are with others. When we understand our own cues and what feels good (or doesn’t), we can connect with and communicate them to our partners. Things like massage, guided touch, sensory exploration (like light vibration trailed across the skin), all build toward that shared discovery and pleasure. When playing with a partner, some prefer a red-light, green-light method where red light means NO and green light is a resounding YES. Safe words also work to stop things during the act without the need for explanation. Sitting with your partner in a comfortable environment and sharing your preferences before play also helps reinforce what you want and what they want, setting the stage for exploration. Once more, if they do not honor your boundaries, they do not deserve to be with you. A Different Kind of Intimacy Listening to your body and to what you want builds a relationship with yourself based on trust. Pleasure will then become less about chasing an orgasm and more about experiencing connection with yourself and being present in your own body. When that foundation is created and nurtured, pleasure with others becomes more genuinely enjoyable. The most powerful thing you can do isn’t to perform pleasure, it’s to feel it.